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My Horse, My Heart: A Book Journey

BIG PROJECT! Revealed!

If you guessed that I am writing a book, you guessed correctly!

It's called My Horse, My Heart: The Morgan Horses of the University of Connecticut.

Am I illustrating it, too? Um, YES!

(wow, I have a lot of work to do!)

I have three chapters done, only about 20 more to go.....

Watch this space for a blog link for a My Horse, My Heart book blog. I can't wait to share all of my writing and research adventures with you!

Thank you for your support, as always.

ZENYATTA! Horse of the Year!

You did it, Big Girl!

Congratulations! At last, a smile through my grief. I'd like to think Nim Nim and Cavan whispered in some ears at the Eclipse Awards last night.... :-)

Go, Go, Zenyatta!

to those we lost this month...

Cavan: this is the painting I did of him a few years back. I was his groom at Woodcock Hill Riding academy and I was his friend. He enjoyed his retirement at my brother's farm and he loved working the fields with him. He also carried my niece to victory in a local horse show: Reserve Champion! I loved him for over twenty years. He was a very, very good boy. We all miss you, Little Man! (that was a nickname his great friend Nikki gave him many years ago and it stayed with him. It fit him so well).

Ah, steeds, steeds, what steeds! Has the whirlwind a home in your manes? Is there a sensitive ear, alert as a flame, in your every fiber? Hearing the familiar song from above, all in one accord you strain your bronze chests and, hooves barely touching the ground, turn into straight lines cleaving the air, and all inspired by God it rushes on! ~Nikolai V. Gogol, Dead Souls, 1842, translated from Russian

This is my Nim Nim. CRF took him away from me and we sent him to his green blankie throne in Heaven this past Saturday. He was always there, for 15 years, and now he is gone. I thought I heard his claws clicking on my floor...I swore that any minute he'd be howling at me demanding his breakfast. There is no more breakfast time. But, he is out of his agony. Daddy and I miss you and the tears will easily come for a long, long time.

I'm Still Here

Friend, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.

I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.

When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace!

Author Unknown

*tears* another loss...Goodbye, Nim Nim

Nim Nim, the Mighty Lion King, surveys his Kingdom from his green blankie throne.
Nim Nim tries to get the catnip candy cane from Skeeter! Fun times!
Nim Nim, in healthier days.
Nim Nim, about a month before he left us.


Last night, my elderly cat, Nim Nim, started acting like it was time to go. He was 20, and had battled renal failure for two years. He was stabilized with special food, but eventually it caught up with him...and he went downhill fast. Just yesterday morning he was eating with gusto and jumping on the couch. By last evening, he was staggering and howling. But he still begged for the chicken I made for our dinner. I gave him his beloved chicken and he ate it with a quiet gratitude. How he loved chicken! He couldn't resist it, even in his weakened state. I gave him as much as he wanted...I knew our time together was coming to a close. I wanted him to have that joy.

This morning, he was barely able to walk and he hardly touched the wet food he loved so much. I even offered him a piece of chicken from the last night's dinner. He didn't touch it. My husband, Steve, and I promised him long ago that when he found no joy in eating, we would release him. Eating brought him such happiness: he would always meow at me "hurry your ass!!!" at feeding time. He would always get so impatient with me--I moved much too slow in the morning.

But, this morning, he was telling us he was ready to move on and leave this life; a life he shared with me and Steve for 15 years--before we were even married. He was with us through four moves and a bunch of jobs. He was there when we cried, when we laughed and when we celebrated. He was there when we came home after our wedding and he helped us open our gifts. He slept near us for many years and was always a perfect gentleman. I know he didn't like it when his bowels didn't cooperate any more and when he became thin; his beautiful buff coat losing its fluff and luster. He was proud, after all. He was my Lion King.

I wrapped him in his favorite green blankie and we drove to the vet. He snuggled his weary head into my chest as I softly stroked him and whispered my promises of love to him. He did not struggle. Occasionally he would lift his head to look at me and his "daddy." He had a tired kitty smile. Although he became deaf as old age gripped him, I am sure he could feel my chest vibrate with words as I spoke.

He loved us too, but love could not heal his kidneys and take away his pain. We had to give him the ultimate gift of love, today.

We heard you, sweet Nim...

My vet, the wonderful Dr. Todd Friedland, helped him on his final journey at 11am. It was so quick, so painless, so peaceful. Steve and I were at his side reassuring him that we would see him again someday. I told him it was summertime where he was going. We would be together again, even if he waited a long time for us. It would happen.

We rescued him 15 years ago. Some heartless person had probably dumped him in the woods behind a co-worker's house. My co-worker at the time, Debbie, came into work one day and told me the tale of a gorgeous, sweet fox-tailed cat that was living in her woods and she asked me if I wanted him. I said yes.

The day I made him mine, Debbie called to him and he came trotting out of the woods to greet her. I put him a carrier, took him home, and he nestled in our hearts. He was so happy and grateful to be in a safe place, surrounded by toys, food, beds and of course, love.

The cruel person who dumped him in the woods behind Debbie's house would never know the depth of love that Nim Nim so freely offered. He was a kind and noble soul who did not deserve to be dumped like garbage. We were honored to rescue this cat with the wise owl face and the jewel-green eyes. Many, many thanks to Debbie for asking me to adopt him all those years ago.

There is no love like that of a rescued animal. They reward you everyday with heaps of love and gratitude; enriching your days with laughter, joy and friendship. My life was richer because of Nim. Thank you, my dear, dear boy. I hope you have mountains of chicken and stinky tuna juice to feast on.

I will miss you, everyday.

and now something to make me smile--a basket full of baby Nim Nims:

Goodbye to my dear old friend, Cavan

Cavan, happy in his retirement at Caledonia farm. Grass as far as the eye can see! Every horse should be this blessed.
Cavan with his buddy, Farmer Dave. Here he is teaching another horse, Noble, how to not be afraid of a harness. Such a wise and patient teacher.
Cavan in 1991 teaching a student how to ride.
Me and my old friend, 2008.

Don't Cry for the Horses

Don't cry for the horses
That life has set free
A million white horses
Forever to be

Don't cry for the horses
Now in God's hands
As they dance and they prance
To a heavenly band

They were ours as a gift
But never to keep
As they close their eyes
Forever to sleep

Their spirits unbound
On silver wings they fly
A million white horses
Against the blue sky

Look up into heaven
You'll see them above
The horses we lost
The horses we loved

Manes and tails flowing
They Gallop through time
They were never yours
They were never mine

Don't cry for the horses
They will be back someday
When our time has come
They will show us the way

On silver wings they will lift us
To the warmth of the sun
When our life is over
And eternity has begun

We will jump the sun
And dance over the moon
A Ballet of horses and riders
on the winds
to a heavenly tune

Do you hear that soft nicker
Close to your ear?
Don't cry for the horses
Love the ones that are here

Don't cry for the horses
Lift up your sad eyes
Can't you see them
As they fly by?

A million white horses
Free from hunger and pain
Their spirits set free
Until we ride again.

-Brenda Riley Seymore

Good bye, Cavan....I will miss you.

Love from your friend and former groom,

Helen

One eleven eleven! Happy New Year!

(my yard, Dec. 24, 2010)

2011 is here!
And it's LIST TIME!

musings about 2010:
1. My studio received a lot of great press in 2010. (yay! Yippeee! *cartwheels*)
2. Many of my paintings and drawings went to wonderful new homes--I can't even begin to tell you how much this gladdens my heart. Thank you all for your support.
3. I began the Big Project and it ignited a creative fire.... (So when are you going to tell everyone about this mysterious project, Helen??? SOON. The wheels are in motion....)
4. My husband and I celebrated 14 years of marriage in 2010. We were able to spend time on Cape Cod beach combing, eating award-winning clam chowder, shopping in P-Town and just enjoying each others company. I am so blessed to have such a sweet, kind and incredibly funny life partner. This man keeps me laughing day and night--I mean REALLY laughing--the tears streaming down the face tummy tumbling laughter. He also helps me at all of my art events--unloading, loading, cleaning up, driving to and from, etc etc. He's also a pro at the pep talk. Wow, do I love my husband. (Thank you, sweetheart.)
5. I purchased not one, but THREE, five foot by six foot canvases. Oh my, what to paint? It's gonna be colossal. Thanks to Dick Blick art supply for having such a great sale and enabling my desire to work REALLY big.

What does 2011 hold for this artist? I am crossing my fingers that a few things come to fruition, but more than that, I am working really hard to make them happen. Spare time? What's that? But really, I enjoy what I do and it doesn't seem like work at all.

The sun is shining, it's a New Year. I wish all of you a productive year full of dreams that really do come true...

Thank you again for all of your support. Onward to 2011!